SUBCONSCIOUSBEHAVIORSthat areKEEPING YOUfrom HAVINGTHE LIFEYOU WANTEvery generation has
a "monoculture" of sorts, a governing pattern or system of beliefs that people unc
onsciously accept as "truth."It’s easy to identify the monoculture of Germany in the 1930s
or America in 1776. It’s clear what people at those times, in those places, accepted to b
e "good" and "true" even when in reality, that was certainly not always the case .The obje
ctivity required to see the effects of present monoculture is very difficult to develop. On
ce you have so deeply accepted an idea as "truth" it doesn’t register as "cultural" or "su
bjective" anymore.So much of our inner turmoil is the result of conducting a life we don’t
inherently desire, only because we have accepted an inner narrative of "normal"
and "ideal" without ever realizing.The fundamentals of any given monoculture tend to surr
ound what we should be living for (nation, religion, self, etc.) and there are a number of
ways in which our current system has us shooting ourselves in the feet as we try to step
forward. Here, 8 of the most pervasive.1. You believe that creating your best life is a ma
tter of deciding what you want and then going after it, but in reality, you are psychologi
cally incapable1 of being able to predict what will make you happy.Your brain can only
perceive what it’s known, so when you choose what you want for the future, y
ou’re actually just recreating a solution or an ideal of the past. When things don’t wor
k out the way you want them to, you think you’ve failed only because you didn’t re-c
reate something you perceived asdesirable. In reality, you likely created s
omething better, but foreign, and your brain misinterpreted it as "bad" because of that.
(Moral of the story: Living in the moment isn’t a lofty ideal reserved for the
Zen and enlightened; it’s the only way to live a life that isn’t infiltrated with illusions
. It’s the only thing your brain can actually comprehend.)2. You extrapolate the present m
oment because you believe that success is somewhere you "arrive," so you are consta
ntly trying to take a snapshot of your life and see if you can be happy yet.You convin
ce yourself that any given moment is representative of your life as a whole. Because we’re
wired to believe that success is somewhere we get to—when goals are accomplished and thin
gs are completed—we’re constantly measuring our present moments by how "finished" they a
re, how good the story sounds, how someone else would judge the elevator speech. We
find ourselves thinking: "Is this all there is?" because we forget that everything is trans
itory, and no one single instance can summarize the whole. There is nowhere to "arrive" to
. The only thing you’re rushing toward is death. Accomplishing goals is not success. How m
uch you expand in the process is.3. You assume that when it comes to following you
r "gut instincts," happiness is "good" and fear and pain are "bad."When you consider doi
ng something that you truly love and are invested in, you are going to feel an infl
ux of fear and pain, mostly because it will involve being vulnerable. Bad feel
ings should not always be interpreted as deterrents. They are also indicators t
hat you are doing something frightening and worthwhile. Not wanting to do
something would make you feel indifferent about it. Fear = interest.4. You needlessly crea
te problems and crises in your life because you’re afraid of actually living it.The patter
n of unnecessarily creating crises in your life is actually an avoidance technique. It dis
tracts you from actually having to be vulnerable or held accountable for whatever it is yo
u’re afraid of. You’re never upset for the reason you think you are: At thecore of your de
sire to create a problem is simply the fear of being who you are and living the life you w
ant.